Still Waiting...

Brian's appointment for his stress test was 10am today. I have been anxiously awaiting word all day. He called me around 11:45 to tell me that the first part was over. They injected him with some material, then put him on a treadmill for 6 minutes. You have to understand, my husband does not exercise. He has NEVER been able or willing to walk at my pace, so the treadmill is quite a feat for him. Apparently the speed was somewhat brisk, and there might have been an incline involved. Brian will walk 3 blocks out of his way to avoid a hill! Now we all understand the whole point is to get him huffing and puffing. Mission accomplished. He told me he felt some minor burning in his chest. Nothing huge. Now I'm no medical expert, but in my opinion, ANY burning in his chest from walking should be huge! My chest doesn't burn when I exert myself...my muscles do. My lungs might, but not my chest! He had to go back at 12 for more follow up. Another injected substance, and I'm not sure what all else. It is 1:45, and I haven't heard a word. Which is a good thing, in that he hasn't been carted off to a hospital, but still....

Once this is over, I think I am going to beat the man about the head and shoulders until he relents and agrees to go to the Cardiac Rehabilitation Center. When he underwent angioplasty and stent placement last May, a woman from the center came around, introduced herself and the program. Brian agreed it was a good idea, and since he was still in the hospital, and keenly aware of his potential mortality, he was sincere, emotional even, in his commitment. Then he recovered, and it became less fear based, more remote, until.....now. He knows that exercise will help make his heart healthier. It is a matter of committing time, effort and some money. I told him I'd buy him a gym membership so that he could just park himself on a treadmill at a slower pace, no incline, and just read for a few miles. He is afraid of hurting his back. I think that is somewhat of an excuse, another barrier thrown up.

I know that it took me 2 years to drop weight, 9 months to drop my cholesterol, a year to drop my resting heart rate and blood pressure. It takes time. And at nearly 52 years of age, time is not really his buddy any more. That said, being male, he can build stamina and muscle easier than a female of the same age can. He can drop weight faster too. But which gets tired more profoundly or more quickly, the head or the body? I think your head gives up before your body does. But I found out that letting my body take over in some ways allows me to free up my head, which allows it to become more energized, which allows the body to do even more. How can I convey that cycle without sounding preachy...the born again skinny bitch that everyone hates?

Ok. It's 2:30. He finally called. He was put in a machine that he sat on, like a sitting MRI, to measure the dye they injected into him. Then they injected more dye, put him back on the treadmill, then back to have the dye measured. Nothing definitive. They will get back to him with results once his physician has reviewed them. That's somewhat better than I feared. I truly was worried that they'd say get thee to the hospital.

I do want to say thank you to everyone who has left such supportive comments. It means a lot to me, and really does help!!

r.